i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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