OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
