Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
