how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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