Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize