At least make sure they are 18
Why
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
