Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
