Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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