So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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