just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
