dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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