haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
