But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
