i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize