i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
