i think my tv is drunk
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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