Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
