Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
