I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
