so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
