Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize