I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Randomize