i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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