You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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