More tranny stories later!
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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