hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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