You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
