I think I died a long time ago.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Text me some of your sweat
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