I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
