The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
