I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
