It's like a parade of train wrecks.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
