Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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