plz talk dirty to me
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize