the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
