What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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