Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Threesome in a minivan. New low
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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