"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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