my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
