i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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