Already got asked if we're dating
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
