Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
