The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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