Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
