dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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