I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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