I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
