I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize
