I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
