just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize