just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
