they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Pants are for mortals
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
