STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Randomize