Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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