I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
