so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize