she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
