This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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