I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize