its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
