I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize