pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
