lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize