I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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