glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
her vagine was all disorganized.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
