this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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