whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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