no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
