I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize