GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Randomize
