I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
