No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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