yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Randomize
