I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
