Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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