Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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